All About Grief

Common Reactions To Grief  #

Appropriate Expectations #

• Your grief will take longer than people would think.
• Your grief will take more energy than you would think.
• Your grief will involve many changes and will be continually developing.
• Your grief will show itself in all spheres of your life, including psychological, social and physical.
• Your grief will depend on your perception of loss.
• Your grief will involve more feelings than you would think (not just depression and sadness).
• Your grief will resurrect old issues, feelings and unresolved conflicts from the past.
• Your grief will include feelings of anger and guilt, or at least some manifestation of these.
• In your grief, you may have a lack of self-concern.
• In your grief, you may have sudden upsurges of emotion, loss of memory, or feel like you are going crazy.
• In your grief, you may find that you behave differently in social settings.
• In your grief, you may find there are certain dated events and stimuli that bring upsurges in grief.
• Your grief may be misunderstood by society, who will have unrealistic expectations of you and will respond to you inappropriately.
• In your grief, you may experience temporary upsurges later in life.

The Death Of A Baby Is Unlike Any Other #

Though we mean well, sometimes our attempt to comfort a friend or loved one in their time of loss can cause more heartache. Saying nothing can also be hurtful. The following tips are meant to help you be supportive and alleviate some of the anxiety about saying the wrong thing as you care for your family or friend who has endured the death of their baby.

Dos And Don’ts #

• Other ways to be helpful
• Ask what would be helpful or healing
• Arrange for help with meals, household chores, errands, etc.
• Refer to them as parents  
• Ask them to share about the baby- ask the baby’s name
• Ask to see a photograph, and acknowledge the beauty of the baby
• Remember the father/parent is grieving too and will need care and outlets for expression
• Respect the needs and wishes of the parents; give them time to grieve alone or together

Basic Facts About Pregnancy and Greif #

• 1 in 4 mothers report experiencing pregnancy loss (miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth)
• ~ 24,000 babies annually will be stillborn (~1/160), and an additional 23,000 infants die within the first 28 days of life
• Perinatal loss occurs 10 times more often than Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)